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Bioshock 2 Multiplayer Impressions.

February 9, 2010

Whilst everyone and their sisters are enjoying Bioshock 2’s brilliant single player I have taken it upon myself to get to grips with the less enthused about portion of the game, the multiplayer, and you know what? It’s good.

First thing you have to get over is the chunk-o-riffic presentation, everything feels big from the guns to the gigantic crosshairs and of course, the hulking Big Daddies. The game is a million miles from the elegant sheen of Call of Duty or Bad Company, Bioshock is the warthog to their cheater, but The Lion King showed us just how charismatic a warthog can be….

Hakuna Matata

Secondly you won’t be securing many cheap kills with throwaway headshots, combat in Bioshock demands you to be on your toes, ballerina style. Due to the nature of the game you don’t know who’s hacked a turret or if there is a booby trap somewhere, or what plasmid or weapon the next goon is going to run around a corner brandishing unless you’re paying attention.

And that’s arguably the strangest thing many people will find about Bioshock’s multiplayer; corners. As to be presumed of a game set in an underwater dystopia there aren’t many fields to do battle over. The levels and hectic gameplay more echoes the claustrophobic gun fights of Goldeneye or Unreal Tournament than it does Halo, all the more so because you need to secure additional plasmid ammo dropped around the level to keep yourself fighting fit, but ultimately it always feels like Bioshock.

Look at the size of that Shotgun! at that height the kickback should blind you.

As with all modern multiplayer FPS games Bioshock has a leveling system, traveling up the ranks secures new guns to blast people with, new tonics to buff yourself with, and new plasmids to royally screw other people over with, and of these three it’s those gene altering magic powers that help Bioshock feel unique.

Some plasmids work well in conjunction, some will help you escape quickly with a Little Sister, some simply deal huge damage. Knowing which plasmids to equip and when can make the difference in every situations, but more importantly they breed experimentation and you’ll amaze yourself time and again at your burgeoning combat creativity. Fights just aren’t this dynamic with C4 and a UAV.

And then there’s playing as the Big Daddy, not since twatting four survivors off a roof in Left 4 Dead has a multiplayer filled you with a feeling of such dominance, armed with obscenely powerful proximity mines, a crippling stun stomp, and a gun that launches rivets the size of your face an effective Big Daddy can dominate both offensively and defensively. All that and you make brilliant stompy sounds as you walk.

The game has a great sense of character without feeling forced.

So whilst the initial levels are quite a task to get through Bioshock 2’s multiplayer evolves into a surprisingly creative, if somewhat manic multiplayer mode that is different enough to the norm to be worth checking out, you may just find a new favourite online time waster. It’s a shame there’s not more to your ‘apartment’, but perhaps there will be some tasty story messages from Sinclaire at the higher ranks? Back to Rapture for me!

Whilst everyone and their sisters are enjoying Bioshock 2’s brilliant single player I have taken it upon myself to get to grips with the less enthused about portion of the game, the multiplayer, and you know what? It’s good…

First thing you have to get over is the chunk-o-riffic presentation, everything feels big from the guns to the gigantic crosshairs and of course, the hulking Big Daddies, the game is a million miles from the elegant head up display of Call of Duty or Bad Company, Bioshock is the warthog to their cheater, but The Lion King showed us just how charismatic a warthog can be….

Secondly you won’t be securing many cheap kills with throwaway headshots, combat in Bioshock demands you to be on your toes, ballerina style. Due to the nature of the game you don’t know who’s hacked a turret or if there is a booby trap somewhere, or what plasmid or weapon the next goon is going to run around a corner brandishing unless you’re paying attention.

And that’s arguably the strangest thing many people will find about Bioshock’s multiplayer; corners. As to be presumed of a game set in an underwater dystopia there aren’t many fields to do battle over. The levels and hectic gameplay more echoes the claustrophobic gun fights of Goldeneye or Unreal Tournament than it does Halo, all the more so because you need to secure additional plasmid ammo dropped around the level to keep yourself fighting fit, but ultimately it always feels like Bioshock.

As with all modern multiplayer FPS games Bioshock has a leveling system, traveling up the ranks secures new guns to blast people with, new tonics to buff yourself with, and new plasmids to royally screw other people over with, and of these three it’s those gene altering magic powers that help Bioshock feel unique.

Some plasmids work well in conjunction, some will help you escape quickly with a Little Sister, some simply deal huge damage. Knowing which plasmids to equip and when can make the difference in every situations, but more importantly they breed experimentation and you’ll amaze yourself time and again at your burgeoning combat creativity. Fights just aren’t this dynamic with C4 and a UAV.

And then there’s playing as the Big Daddy, not since twatting four survivors off a roof in Left 4 Dead has a multiplayer filled you with a feeling of such dominance, armed with obscenely powerful proximity mines, a crippling stun stomp, and a gun that launches rivets the size of your face an effective Big Daddy can dominate both offensively and defensively. All that and you make brilliant stompy sounds as you walk.

So whilst the initial levels are quite a task to get through Bioshock 2’s multiplayer evolves into a surprisingly creative, if somewhat manic multiplayer mode that is different enough to the norm to be worth checking out, you may just find a new favourite online time waster.

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Banjo Replica challenge week 2 – Brum

February 8, 2010

This week’s replica challenge was to recreate the CBBC abomination to automobiles, Brum, in Nuts & Bolts’ vehicle creator.

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As with last week, peruse the entries and then vote for the three you thnk most accurately portray the majestic curves of this children’s favourite.

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Banjo, staring unimpressed at the vehicles he is modeling.

T9Flake

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Ejector seat action

Roonmastor

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Mokeyjoe

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JK

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Dalagonash

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Bandwagon

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So yes, click on the poll and we’ll see you on Friday for another Replica challenge! Thanks to everyone who took part.

If you want to vote on your favourite, head on over to GRcade.

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Video of the week – Under the sea 2.

February 3, 2010

Bioshock is a great game, but my word it’s a brilliant universe for this sort of film.

The chaps at 2K Marin sure know how to animate their models, this trailer is sheer brilliance from the malicious innocence of the little sister to the sharp shooting Big Daddy, brilliant.

Oh and in the same post I get you hyped, I’m going to ruin it for you.

Enjoy!

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Excuse for no proper post…

February 2, 2010

Mass Effect 2…

So Good!

(This post brought to you by the daily update promise, this will not happen again.)

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Global Game Jam

February 1, 2010

Whilst mincing around uni today it was hard not to hear about this Global Game Jam thing that went down over the weekend and, considering the size of the whole affair, I was amazed I hadn’t heard it mentioned anywhere.

Basically a bunch of universities split their students up into groups and they were challenged to make a game from scratch in just 48 hours, getting the same work to sleep ratio as a poor underpaid designer during crunch (the bit before a game is out when work is fueled by caffeine and month old chinese).

I can’t vouch for the quality of the games, I’ve only just booted the site up myself, but anyone interested in some potentially interesting Indie talent might want to give it a nosey, or anyone who needs a good laugh at some potentially horrendous games, either of those people really.

http://www.globalgamejam.org/

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Sunday Fun – The Cadbury’s Full English Breakfast.

January 31, 2010

All credit to Charlie Brooker and the folks over at Fatuous, this made me laugh. A lot. I was expecting some form of chocolatey alternative to the traditional helpings of various pig meats but instead it’s some horrendous meat, chocolate, and eggy offense to British cooking, but well worth a giggle.

See the full horror here.

This isn't even the worst of it.

Can’t say I’ll be attempting it anytime soon…

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Command and Conquer 4 is doomed!

January 30, 2010

I don’t like getting down on a game before release, I rarely do, but Command and Conquer 4 is buggered.

Unimpressed - Kane earlier today.

I’ve been dabbling with the beta recently and as a mild RTS fan I think I’ve got enough experience to declare C&C 4 a complete failure. Simply put whoever thought adding a levelling structure into a game like this needs a firm slap around the chops, before being taken outside and shot for evidently having no brain.

Ok it’s not the levelling that’s borked, CoH has a nice levelling system, it’s the application and repercussions of the system and to begin to understand you’ll need to know how things play out.

In C&C 4 every player has a walking ‘base’ from which they churn out units, units are used to take strategic points and return Tiberium to your drop zone in order to buy upgrades to your existing units. There are no resources, simply a population limit, meaning unit spam is the order of the day and once a unit dies you just replace it. Already the game has problems up the wazzo, but then the levelling structure enters the fray.

Not much of a looker either.

To begin with you can make four units from your chosen base (offensive, defensive, or support) and research one tech, you are locked to tier one and that’s your lot for the duration of the match. Until you level up, which for some unknown reason takes a few matches to even get to level ruddy 2, at which point you get one more unit for each ‘class’, yay?

At one point me and a friend were playing a match with someone who could get tier three units and had a base firing death lasers from every orifice, and then some, frying our tier one units and whereas normally I can accept being beaten in an RTS this was the equivalent of bringing cotton wool buds and a pasty to fight a fat bloke wielding a flamethrower . We didn’t have access to effective counter units, fair? Not at all, fun? Most certainly not.

And then there are the matches themselves, or should I call them meat grinders, the simple technique of ‘fill the population up’ means players prefer to spam one type of unit at one time, only changing if something drastic happens. On more occasions than not me and an opponent would have our bases facing each other, constantly putting units out to die in a never ending battle of the mundane, It’s so basic it needs to sit in the corner of the RTS classroom wearing the dunce hat for a bit until it wises up.

The game will garner a dedicated community due to the name C&C, and the fact it’s probably fun when the game deems you worthy to even bloody tech up, but before lon the multiplayer will become impenetrable to new comers.

On account of the fact you earn XP in all modes it depends how much you level up in campaign really, but what if you don’t want to play Campaign? Grind against CPU until you can actually deploy effective units? Piss off is that what anyone wants to do.

Even Tim Curry has to stiffle back the laughter.

It’s a shame really as this is EA’s last chance to impress the C&C audience until Starcraft finally arrives, but instead they’ve created an abortion of an action strategy role playing game that sits somewhere between Company of Heroes, Final Fantasy, and a pile of rancid Chihuahua turd.

Command and Conquer 4 – Level up or get tae fuck.

Oh and the menu’s look abysmal too.

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The Nuts & Bolts Amazo-tournament Delorean vote off!

January 29, 2010

To take part in the voting, head on over to The Forum!
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Great Scott! Those dimwits over at the Banjo Kazooie tourney thingy have attempted to recreate my time machine! Do they know what they’re doing!? I don’t believe it!

They’re trying to make the Delorean!

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Well, I’m certainly far too busy to judge them, far, far too busy, so it’s up to you people of this silly little interweb forum to make up your mind, you can vote for three of them that you think embody my brilliant creation! Listen to the best music ever written, and then judge!

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Our model getting ready.

Bandwagon

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Dalagonash

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JK

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Mokeyjoe

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Roonmastor

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StayDead

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T9

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Where we’re going, we don’t need roads.

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Needs more Jiggawatts!

Dalagonash -
Thanks to everyone that took part in this week’s replica challenge :D I look forward to next weeks!

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BOOM!

Disclaimer:
All entries tested to 88mph.

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The Grand GRcade Nuts & Bolts tournament week 1.

January 28, 2010

Week 1 is over, and the challenge challenge and multiplayer results are in!

Challenge Challenge week 1

Flush the Floater.

This was a simple checkpoint race in which you simply had to spin in a circle to achieve victory, a quick glance may hint towards an aircraft or even a boat, how did our competitors fare?

1 – Mokeyjoe – 20.22 (also placing him 55th in the worldwide leaderboard)
2 – T9Flake – 20.61
3 – Bandwagon – 21.35
4 – Dalagonash – 22.52
5 – Roonmastor – 22.67
6 – JK – 23.22
7 – Seven (tee hee) – 24.83
8 – StayDead – 1.04.00 (I don’t think he improved that)

First place is awarded ten points, second 9, third 8, and so on.

The pro way –

Watching the top players it appears the best course of action was to get wet and jam your stick to the right, bouncing from the straight edges underneath the water and Grunty’s fat arse.

The competitors tools:

Mokey joe, went into the water.

T9 Flake, on the water's surface.

Bandwagon... I think it flew?

Dalagonash, took to the skies.

Roonmastor, strategically placed seating.

JK, another on the water's surface.

Madcap Multiplayer results

Event 1 – Golf

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Starting off a little shonky, the Golf event saw most people stick with LOG’s vehicles, and not manage to finish! The event saw three people finish and three people in joint fourth.

1 – Dalagonash
2 – Bandwagon
3 – T9Flake
4 – JK
4 – Mokeyjoe
4 – Roonmastor

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Some people just don’t know how to stay upright.

Event 2 – Small Spiral Circuit

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A simple event made awkward thanks to some rubbish ditches, Dalagonash was a cheating bastard as he took to the skies whilst everyone else fought for a place on the ground… Or in the water.

1 – Dalagonash
2 – T9Flake
3 – JK
4 – Roonmastor
5 – Bandwagon
6 – Mokeyjoe

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Event 3 – Don’t Flee the Nest (Sumo)

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‘This goes on for five minutes?!’ someone exclaimed, and it did indeed last for five minutes of feeble punching, pushing, and floundering around, with some people managing to keep their balance far better than others.

1 – T9Flake
2 – Mokeyjoe
3 – Dalagonash
4 – Bandwagon
5 – JK
6 – Roonmastor

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Event 4 – G Zero

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Fuck off LOG with ya floaty rubbish vehicles. High octane was certainly not on the cards as all the racers gaily drifted around corners, there is a piece of music that sums up this race perfectly…

1 – Roonmastor
2 – T9Flake
3 – JK
4 – Bandwagon
5 – Dalagonash
6 – Mokeyjoe

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The results! Presented by Humba Wumba.

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So, bearing in mind that by game rules placing first nets you 10 points, second eight etc. the final standings after the maths were as follows!

In sixth place with 12 points, it’s Image Mokeyjoe.

In fifth place with 16 points, it’s Image Roonmastor.

In fourth place with 18 points, it’s Bandwagon.

Taking the bronze in third with 20 points, Image JK.

The silver medal is awarded to the player with 28 points, Dalagonash.

Making this week’s gold medal nuts & Bolts player with a whopping thirty two,

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T9FLAKE!

Congratulations!

These standings will relate to your overall multiplayer leaderboard, but the scoring there will be independent of this.

Thanks again and see you next week, for more Madcap Multiplayer Madness!

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Impressions – Darksiders

January 27, 2010

An odd little game this, released just after the Christmas rush and hidden under a tidal wave of Bayonetta hype. I’m sure many people passed it by for that game EDGE gave a ten and has a sexy arse kicking witch in whilst Darksiders happily sat on the shelf displaying its own 10/10 score and lovely boxart. And you know what? Darksiders is actually pretty good.

The whole style of the game makes it very fun to watch in motion.

You play WAR, of four horsemen of the apocalypse fame, who has landed on earth as loads of angels and demons have started fighting. Not knowing quite what’s going on you promptly start to throw buses around and impale things on your sword before you are whisked away and accused of starting the whole thing like your parents accusing you for throwing a party and thrashing their home whilst they were out for the night. So they strip your powers and then send you to perform the cleanup, bunch of squares.

It was when a friend uttered the words ‘It’s a bit like Zelda’ that I added it to my ‘interested list’, and on closer inspection it is like Zelda, but also with an over reliance on rubbish combat.

Ok rubbish combat is a little harsh but coming from Bayonetta of course it was going to be lackluster. The problem with it is that the set up is more akin to God of War, which would be fine if War wasn’t such a slow bugger and the enemies didn’t come in ‘shite’ and ‘tear the player a new arsehole’ difficulty.

The voice acting is very textbook, apart from the joker to the right of this picture, his acting is brilliant.

Zelda works because every encounter is well constructed, naff enemies go down quickly and big enemies take a sensible number of strikes using the block and counter system the game has honed. The issue in Darksiders is that hacking away at a bunch of enemies that pose no threat loses its bravado after the fourth wave, and the opening of the game is set up in a way you’d think the Zelda stuff was never going to come.

And then there are the bigger enemies, annoyances with loads of health, annoyances that don’t flinch, annoyances that have attacks aimed in such a way that if you don’t dodge at the exact right second in the exact right way you’ll be chewing on concrete in no time. Enemies come thick and fast as well, meaning encounters with multiple rubbish ones will happen, and whoever had the genius idea of putting the ‘enemy lock on’ on LB needs a slap and a firm talking to, before being executed for such a horrendous decision.

What about that bit that’s like Zelda then eh? Well littered around the disjointed world are important locations which play out like a typical Zelda dungeon, just with more hacking and slashing. Fortunately the puzzles are pretty good, with only some minor control explanation hiccups to be blamed for my ever-worsening hand cramps. Item use is explained and expanded on in fun ways whilst puzzles make you engage the grey matter for more than just ‘hit the five things in the right order’.

And then there’s the look of the game, it’s a pretty stunning art direction to stare at with bright colours and big chunky demons and angels, I heard it was designed by some comic book dude and it certainly shows, if indeed my informants are correct.

Joe Madureira is his name, drawing anatomically bulging people is his game.

Anyway, it’s fun enough to keep my attention so I’ll press on. Review soon.